Trader Joe’s has opened in Madison. But more about that harrowing tale in a moment…
The balmy Sunday weather (35 degrees and sunny!) encouraged me to go out early this morning and roam around a bit. I started out at the Monona Farmer’s Market. This is actually a routine Sunday morning stop. You might think that I go there for the produce. You would be wrong.
You see, there is a guy there who has a buffalo stand. And while his buffalo is excellent, that is not what I buy. I’m afraid that he’s got my dogs addicted to his buffalo cookies with liver chips. So I go there first thing every Sunday morning and I buy dog cookies. Or, to be more truthful, cat cookies. The Buffalo Guy confided in me early this summer that the cat cookies are the exact same thing as the dog cookies. The cat cookies just have some pre-made groves in them so that you can break them easier. I had to explain this to my Shiba Inus before I fed them the cat cookies, of course.
Then I headed to my neighborhood coffee shop, Cuppa Jo, on Monona Drive. Now, technically, this is no longer my neighborhood since I became a suburbanite 2 years ago. But I still head back to the ‘hood several times a week to indulge in both the coffee and the atmosphere. If you live in Madison and you have a chance to go there, skip the Starbucks and support the local shop. You won’t regret it, and it is the right thing to do.
And now begins the harrowing tale of my trek downtown to scope out the first Trader Joe’s to open not only in Madison but in Wisconsin.
I drove downtown, dodging street crews cleaning up barrels and barricades from the State Street Halloween party of the night before (I simply can not bring myself to call it “FreakFest”). Thankfully, there were no riots this year, and the place didn’t look too torn up. But I passed a playboy bunny, a court jester, and a rather drunken looking clown staggering down University Avenue in search of their apartments.
Making my way to Monroe Street, I naively assumed that I’d beat the crowd with an early Sunday morning excursion. What a mistake. Here’s my advice to you:
DO NOT GO. STAY AWAY. SAVE YOURSELVES!
The place was a train wreck. The parking was a nightmare, the people were insane, and some of the shelves were bare. For a neighborhood that prides itself on tolerance, I’m here to tell you that the crowd was rude, obnoxious, pushy and manic. I passed a man muttering disgustedly to himself and I said to him, in sympathy, “No kidding – why aren’t these people in church???”. He laughed and replied, “Think about the demographics when you ask yourself that!”.
I escaped the place with my life, somehow, and vowed that it will be a significantly long time before I go back. Whole Foods and Jenifer Street Market will do just fine, thank you very much.
I drove back downtown as I made my way back to the east side, passing a man dressed like a princess and 6 foot tall staggering box of condoms making their way down Regent Street.
Only in Madison! (But that is why I live here!)
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